It’s been over two years since I first started seriously questioning my relationship with drugs and alcohol and considered a life without it. That's two hard, beautiful, glorious years during which I not only stopped drinking, but also finally moved on from all recreational drugs as well as a history of self hurting.
The life I had before I quit drugs was a lot like Groundhog Day; I was always waiting for it to begin and always reliving the same stuff, day after day, year after year. When I finally walked away from it all at 32, my life opened up. I can honestly say sobriety is the best thing I have ever done for myself. It was my jumping-off point into a life I knew I had buried inside of me.
While making the decision to be sober was the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s also one of the hardest. Not only because not using is hard, but also because we live in a society where most everyone around us drinks or does drugs.
It’s seen as normal to use, and quitting that drug can feel like breaking a social pact. So your bold, life-improving decision to not use will mean changes almost everywhere you look.
Recovery is different than I thought it would be. This journey has been a most revealing journey. I know myself in a way I never did before. I recognize my irrational thoughts. I fight back when urges come. I now see that my urges to use are and always have been reactions to feelings and thoughts. That's okay, though, because my choice is not to give in to those reactions.
I am two years clean of drugs and alcohol. During those two years, I have grown more than I could have ever imagined and now know what it means to live a fulfilling life. Even though life is still full of problems and challenges, I have learned how to grow from these expert and have found a path I am happy with. I enjoy the time spent with my family, and refuse to take for granted every 24hrs I receive.
I still use what I learned from IRecover Alberta everyday. That, for me, started with the willingness to be responsible for my disease. From there I was able to change and I now have a great relationship with my husband and kids.
You don't have to wake up and struggle to stay clean every day. Reach out. Go to meetings. Talk.
I had to loose drugs & alcohol to love me - I'm okay with that.
Much love and many thanks,